I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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