I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
