My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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