Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
