i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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