..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
