The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have feelings that need drinking.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
