operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
