Can Purell be used as lube?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
birth control should be required to get into college
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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