Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
