I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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