my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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