don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
