you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We are two peas in an std pod
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
