Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
