this boner is exhausting
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
