I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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