i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
