I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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