try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
