I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
