I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
