it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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