i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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