I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
