the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
