i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
