so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
