I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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