oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
