I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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