Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
