I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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