real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
