I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
