I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
