we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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