uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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