he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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