whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
