yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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