You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
