And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
