If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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