He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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