Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
