So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
