He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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