Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
