i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How drunk are you?
Completed.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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